Emotional Overdose

as of this moment i am letting you know that i am currently having a Grey's Anatomy emotional overdose... so if things are a bit too dramatic.. too emotional... too deep.. or too pink and squishy... Seriously, then stop reading and dont complain. SERIOUSLY!

at what point in our lives do we cross that line to where we suddenly start loving someone? i mean one day.. your total strangers.. and the next you cant seem to function properly without them. some people fall in love easily.. others take a while. what makes people diff? why do some ppl cross that line much easier or sooner than others?

speaking of that line... have you ever wondered about it? how messy and uncharted that line could be? how scary it is to be walking that line when you .. just like anyone else is broken and damaged at some point in their lives?

why cant we control who we fall in love with? why does it just happen?
what are the factors.. that make u love one person and not the other? even if you are more certain that a specific person is better for you than any other person but you still cant love him or her? or why do we sometimes love people and they cant seem to love us back the way we want them to? or xpress themselves the way we want them to?

yet, we still go back out there.. hurting.. trying to walk and cross that line until we find someone who will love us back.. and who is willing to help each other grow to be great human beings.

What about loving someone and you have a fear of telling them? mayb you dont know how they'll react and for the first time in your life you wont be able to stand the fact that they just may not react the way you would like them to.

i guess in the end.. a relationship... even between friends.. cant really be defined.. all relationships are different. Just like people are different. We have different backgrounds, we react differently to things and we have different outlooks to life. The secret isnt finding someone who is like you.. the secret is finding someone who is compatible to you and is willing to stick through it and work at it as much as you are. Making it work together.
( i may be wrong and in a few years or even a few months i may come back and say that i was wrong )

the only thing we can do is cherish all the friendships and love that we have... and take it one step at a time.. take each baby step together. No matter how much you think you're ready to take the next step.. you can't leave anyone behind so, we wait.. give support and be patient.

When did we?

when did we all grow up and become adults?? when did life become so complicated with all these shades of grey?? things were so much easier when we were young and saw things in shades of white or black.... good or bad.. sweet or sour.. salt or pepper..... yes i know I'm getting carried away but i think u got the point.
At what point in our lives did we start to see grey?? is there a certain age? an initiation? does somthin have to happen to a child before they start seeing those shades of grey and rarely see white or black?? I cant remember the last time i saw somthing as pure white or darkest black.. everything comes in many shades.. and with all these shades.. how do u weigh out situations?? how do we know whats right or wrong anymore?

Sometimes i dont enjoy being an adult... and i long for the days when all that mattered was morning cartoons, if the weather would be nice enough to play outside and if i was going to be able to run to the store to buy some of my favorite candy. We didnt care about other things.. we didnt pay attention to those small details.. and we didnt further than that same evening.

Adulthood.. it just snuck up on us... and we didnt even see it coming. Infact most adults still dont realize it.

I've been thinking about all the small things in life that make me smile and are a great deal to me... here are just a few of my faved things:

Rhythmic swaying trees...
The smell of Babies...
The cold side of the pillow when u flip it over...
A cat's purr...
Christmas lights...
Suntan oils...
Swimming pool water and chlorine...
Good music while lazing around in the sun...
The sound of a camera's shutter...
Waking up with the sun shining in your face...
A really good nights sleep...


uhm... yea i guess that was a bit more than a few... and it think i can go on with some more to add to the list.. but instead.. I'm just gona stop here... :)

p.s. was going to upload new pics for u to see.. but for some reason it wont let me upload anything.. *shrug*

Unholiday

.... i sat here for over an hour typing a long blog... and then sat here for a few minutes with my finger on the backspace button as i watched it all erase....

i only have one real thing on my mind.. "Dear god it hasn't even been a week..... "

~ I Miss You - Incubus ~

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can´t explain.
So would I be out of line if i said
I miss you.

I see your picture,
I smell your skin on the empty pillow, next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days
But already I´m wasting away.

I know I´ll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
And, I miss You.
(i miss you)
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

p.s.
On a side note... I hate Grey's Anatomy.. coz it makes me think about things i shudnt... and it makes me lonely... yet i cant get myself to stop watching... i tell myself its the soundtrack and the damn cool surgeons... who am i kidding? alright.. i dont hate GA... i love it coz its brilliant... in a raw way.. meh.. mayb I've been a bit emotional lately...