12:25 am..... january 11th.. 2007... its now officially thursday... I've got so many thoughts flying in my head how is a person to know where to start? what shud be my first words that i type here?
yes.. i know i typed the time.. and that the blog keeps record of the time and date as well.. i dont care really.. there's a point i wrote the time and date... it has been nearly 32 hrs.. non stop with no sleep... xcept for the 20 mins or so i lay tryin to get a cat nap.. in the car.. on my bed... and on the couch.. am i so tired ? have i gone beyond that point? where i just cant sleep anymore??
or has somthin happend to keep me goin?? we are in 2007.. nothing really swell is goin on.. nothing that i can put my finger on to credit for this incredible feeling that i have about 2007.. is it the number SEVEN?? is it just coincidence that the few times i took those silly quizzes in the past.. my lucky number turned out to be 7? is there a reason that i have always had a warm spot for the number seven?? there are so many sevens in this world... will this be a good year for me? shall it be just the tinies bit happier and less painfull as the last one?? i highly doubt it.. for i see alot of pain just waiting for me.. right down the pathway... its inevitable.. a person cant escape any pain that they feel in life... so then why do i feel so good about this year?
I'm still clueless..... and still pondering over it.
i stayed up all night...tuesday till wednesday morning... reading... yes.. such a horrid thing to do u may say.. to stay up and become sleep deprived over a book... but i think this book has been quite an eye opener for me... i realize it isnt a new book... i realize that A LOT of ppl have read it before.. and will mor than likely have their own comments about it... but i really dont care what they have to say... i was meant to read this book... NOW.. i was supposed to read it at this time in my life.. i may not understand it.. i may question it all the time... but i am sure.. that nothing happens without a reason...
everything is connected... that small invisible web... that we are all stuck in...and makes us all connected... each one of us tryin to make a life of their own... doing things independently.. living "our life" but each time i shake my little wings and try to make a move.. those very movements i make.... vibrate and resonate all thru those webs.. and ultimatly affect everyone on that little web.. its Odd how we are all connected.. its odd how the smallest things.. of ppl in ur present life.. cause some kind of percussion... the music of life... everything happens for a reason.. ppl in the past.. influence our life now.. our life now.. will influence ppl in the future... we may feel small and insignicant... we may think that our lives are meaningless... but we are all here for a reason.... a purpose.. most of us will never realize that purpose.. most of us may even die.. asking those very questions.. why am i nothing? can i go back and try harder? can i go back and change somthing? i'll try more... please... let me try? i promise i'll do better!? i dont want to die yet...................
who are we to say that we havent lived our lives the xact way we were supposed to live it? who are we to say that we didnt do what we were truly meant to do .... ??
there are no coincidences... everything happens for a reason... everything on this earth has a reason.. has a purpose... everyone helps in some way or another no matter how insignificant our actions and thoughts may be... it has helped MOLD a certain someone out there.. to be who they are... to be able to fulfill their purpose... to also inturn be able to influence others... and help them achieve their destiny...
destiny.... what a powerful word... and this is just barely the surface... just a tiny scratch.... not even close to fully understanding the TRUE idea behind it all...
we may never be able to truly grasp it... unless you are able to meet those people... have you ever thought about them?? have you ever thought of what they would say to you? have you ever thought about how you affected their lives and they yours?? what would you ask them?? those people... the five people you meet in heaven?
yes.. I've been thinkin this all day... these thoughts have been playing and certain words are floating around... I'm not able to sleep becoz of this... I have now been goin on and on... for nearly a half hours... its 12:53 am... you may not have understood a word i said... or mayb you have.... yes... i need to go.. i need to lay my head down... i need to close my eyes... and just dream... mayb i'll dream of that heaven of mine.. mayb i'll meet my heaven in 2007?
