Is it really me?

my celebrity look-alikes..
lol...

Angelina Jolie 96 % ( WOW )
Ali Landry 80%
Sandra Bullock 78%
Kaley Cuoco 78%
Claire Danes 78%
Alessandra Ambrosio 76%
Natalie Imbruglia 75%
Jessica Simpson 74%






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Claire Danes 90%
Adriana Karembeu 90%
Katie Holmes 83%
Annie Lennox 83%
Katherine Heigl 83%
Kim Smith 83%
Penelope Cruz 80%
Uma Thurman 80%


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Uma Thurman 83%
Katie Holmes 83%
Kimberly Williams 83%
Kristin Kruek 78%
Aishwariya Rai 76%
Alyson Hannigan 76%
Kaley Cuoco 76%
Rachael Leigh Cook








SURPRISE SURPRISE>>>> Wynona was NEVER mentioned :P

~Lost In Darkness~

this is somthing i wrote a long time ago.. and had it posted on a site with poetry and such.. but since i left the site and will no longer go back.. i thought i wud post it here.. instead of putting a link...

anyhow... here it is..

~Lost In Darkness~

I wake in the morning from another sleepless night...
I go on with my meaningless routine without a single fight...
Feeling dirt and grime soaked into my skin...
Feeling so dirty and cheap...
My life has taken such a dramatic spin...
How much longer of my sanity can i keep..

Is that a reflection in the window??
Who is that looking back at me??
I dont recognise her... I no longer know...

Why can't i stop these tears i cry??
These tears that constantly fall...
Fall from the inside and out...
How am i crying>> How is it possible??
I feel so numb inside.. so hollow and empty..
A cold and empty void inside my soul..
A hole all the way through to my heart..
Puncturing both my lungs,
making it that much harder for me to breathe..
Drowning in this poison oxygen all around...

Hurting so much...

In a crippling pain that shoots right into my chest..
People everywhere looking straight at me..
Talking to me always...
Not seeing the pain I'm in..
Not seeing the acid tears that fall,
burning my eyes and cheeks..

They know nothing...
Just the smile on my face..
and the laughter that they hear...
Oblivious to my wishes of death..
My hunger to just no longer be..

Or are they so ignorant??

Why dont i reach for help?
I once thought it the right thing to do..
But why save something so lost and gone?
Why use that effort on a lost cause??
Why try and cure a person on her death bed,
when you can cure one who still has hope??

Thats why they ignore.. Its what they see..
Hopeless.... too lost...

Yes, My death bed..
I'm falling hard and fast...
Deep down in the darkness where nobody survives..
Digging my nails into the walls..
Gasping for fresh air for my contaminated lungs..
Attempting to climb but still i fall..
Sliding more and more each second..
Being swallowed by the bitter coldness down below..
A piercing silence through the air thats so deffaning.

Falling... Falling...

I cut my wrists and watch the liquid flow..
Red and warm... so inviting...
Feeling better as each drop falls..
Darkness doesnt scare me anymore..

I'm giving in..
I'm giving up..
I've found my cure..
I've found my safe spot..
I'm ready to go..

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Tuesdays With Morrie

alrighty.. Its 3:40 am.. I'm about to just say whatever blahs that are on my mind.. and i warn u.. it isnt goin to be quite sweet or whatever its supposed to be...

my latest book i read... (Tuesdays with Morrie) by Mitch Albom..
yet another great book.. that i finished within a few hrs of the night.. that left me crying and contemplating about my life, how i live it and the people that i know.

its utterly amazing how just words on paper can move a persons soul so much.. move ur inner thoughts and feelings..

an old man, a young man and life's greatest lesson...

* accept what you are able to do & what you are not able to do...

* Accept the past as PAST , without denying it or discarding it.

We all hate becoming something we dont want to be.. routine, losing track of frienships as the years go by, giving up on dreams we held dearly... and then we sit back and think.. how did this happen?? When did it happen..
( i had become too wrapped up in the siren song of my own life )...



funerals... a time where ppl get together.. and say great things about a person who is no longer there... is it fair that the deceased cant hear such great words? is it right for the person who is dead to not know how much he is loved and hear those words of love and affection? To hear those words that ppl long to say when they think its too late..
ironic... a person leaves the world. feeling unloved.. only to have a mass crowd at his funeral..
i wonder who will be at mine? what will they say about me when I'm gone... a part of me is so eager to know and find out...
the way I'm feeling right now.. i doubt the grasshoppers will even be there..

yes.. PMS.. is a bitch... bite me.

Everyone knows they are going to die...but nobody believes it.. if we did.. we would do things differently.. ( the book is amazing i tell u )

.... hmm.. it goes on to tell u... that these questions.. u shud ask urself.. everyday...
IS today the day?
Am I ready?
Am i doing all i need to do?
Am i being the person i want to be?
Is today the day i die?


why dont we have ( living funerals) ? a party where ppl say what they feel... as in.. a funeral...
but.. the person who is dead.. isnt really dead?

have u ever wondered why ppl get uncomfortable in a quiet room? why do we humans become embarrassed by silence?? ppl start to shift their weight and look around the room to keep themself occuppied.. why cant we have a bunch of ppl in a room.. not talking and feel comfortable with just sittin there... breathing in.. and out.. lookin at each other?? why do we feel xposed during times like that? like our inner most thoughts and secrets are being revealed..?

a very short story was told in the book.. that caught the very strings of my heart... In this mental institution... a woman wud be found laying face down on the floor of the hallway to her room EVERY morning and wud stay there till the evening.. not moving at all.. doctors and nurses stepping around her.. seeing that she isnt doin anyone any harm... the man in the book sat and watched her for days and then gradually went and laid next to her.. keeping her company till she warmed up to him.. and eventually he was able to get her up and back into her room...
What was it that she wanted the most? why did she do that EVERY SINGLE DAY??
The same thing that MANY ppl want...
Someone to notice she was there...

.....dum di dum dum dum... ( dont ask )

I'm in the mood to listen to Black Orchid - Blue October.... god.. can u hear it in his voice? i wana sing like that.. i want to pass emotion to ppl.. let them feel things.


ever feel that just everyone is avoiding u? ever feel that just mayb.. nobody can stand u? or.. i duno.. why dont ppl feel satisified from a relationship? is there somthing wrong with me or is it all human kind?
I'm feeling very rebelious at the moment.. and very self destructive mode as well..... but what am i gona do? I'm stuck at home.. and cant do a thing... whooooopeeee. I'm gona get some chocolate... and some ice-cream.. i hope there is some cake too.. yes.. thats what i will do.. the first steps to my self destruction!! *muahahahaa* (evil-laugh for those of u who didnt get that)



If you were reincarnated... what would you want to come back as?